Futur

Assalamualaikum !

Dalam proses memperbaiki diri, meng'udate' ilmu, memulihara akhlak, memelihara aurat jalannya tidak semudah yang disangkakan.


Walaupun pada mulanya, hati telah nekad apa pun yang terjadi jangan berpatah balik. This is your choice. Your choice to be close to Allah. To be the better musleemah. To stay away from the maksiat. Stay away from the lagho things. This is your choice that may help you. Your own choice for the sake of Him. Once you step forward, no more stepping back. Left your old life. Turn to new leaf and be happy with it. Bear Allah in your heart. Hati telah nekad.


Namun, sudah menjadi satu rutin hidup. Life not always flow fluently. Tidak ada hidup tanpa ujian. Itu perkara biasa. Disangka panas hingga ke petang, rupanya hujan di tengah hari. Ingatkan hati cukup tabah. Rupanya sampai masa hati hampir futur dengan segala nista.


Peoples complained my physical appearance, my long hijap, my size of body look like.. Almost everything doesn't seem good at their sight.


Saat diri hampir tersungkur, ada tangan menyambut. Ingatkan balik tujuan asal. Ingatkan balik nawaitu yang suci. For the sake of who you're here? For the sake of Him. And why should you bother about what people said? Why don't you care more about what Him said?

Peoples.. I'm not my older me that can proudly wear branded ppjeans and improper shirt and all short hijab sort of. I even didn't life in my past anymore. I feel comfort and calm in my dress. In my new style. I didn't use wearing something fit and something with my size even in my own house. I prefer bigger size because I feel uneasy with something that people can guess my size. But people feel uneasy to see me that way.


Malah cause of my changes ada yang sanggup tuduh her future husband  akan berpaling tadah toward me because I'm better. There's no such a things I'm better than you or you better than me. It's about our obedience towards Allah. As a human-being, we don't have right to judge people that way.


After all, I think.. should I futur? You are strong enough untuk sampai sini Syaf. Why don't you keep strong? Never futur cause you're sacrifice much to be here. In this level. Why must turn back? If you start for the sake of Him, why can you end it for the sake of Him too? I told myself.

Allah had said, "Don't you ever tell you're believe without tested."


Yes.. This is part of my test which is my imaan will manifest. If I can through it with sabr, it will increase the level of imaan. If I futur(give up) with the test, and back to my old me, it will decreased the level of imaan.


May Allah give some strength to keep sabr and not futur. Ameen.



Show me RIGHT from WRONG . Indeed , I'm a learner =)